![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Mar. 12th, 2011 02:16 pmMiss Chaointe made the mention earlier of World Gone Mad = entrench in small details of daily life out frustration and helplessness. (Okay, it was a little more than that, but I'm summarizing.) It occurs to me that I should maybe put a similar disclaimer/explanation/whatever you want to call it for why I seem to be going off the deep end of political angst lately.
It's not so much rage as it is pure terror. When I get bone-shakingly terrified, I get angry. "Fight or flight" defaults to fight, and watching what's going on lately and being too poor, too far, too broken to do a damned thing means the only outlet I have left is to write and write and write until someone finally READS what I'm writing.
This would be why I've more or less dissolved into seemingly incoherent screaming, because it's about all I can do. Esp. on FB, where I have a number of people who are apparently either FOR so much of the political asshattery, don't get why it's bad, or understand why it's bad, but take the attitude of "Well, we'll just vote differently in 2012" without seeing that if things like Michigan and Wisconsin are allowed to happen, 2012 will be too late, that I can't NOT keep my "mouth" shut. I see, more and more, a systematic reversion to a time when it was bad to be a minority, poor, a child, a woman, and I see a government that one side stands by and does little to nothing while the other side drags us back and pits us against ourselves so that we do not see what they are doing. I hate conspiracy theories with every fiber of my being, but dammit when they are doing things that only keep proving them right, I don't even know how to process that.
Words are all I have. I have no money. I have no power. I have no connections in that arena. Hell, I don't even have a phone or car anymore (we decided the wisest course would be to take my car off the road and have at least one functioning, road legal vehicle, so we're dealing with the one that needs less work to fix). I only have my words, here, on my lap-top. This IS my only way to fight against what I see happening to this country.
This is the only tool I have to scream and fight against the darkness, and dammit, I'm not shutting up.
It's not so much rage as it is pure terror. When I get bone-shakingly terrified, I get angry. "Fight or flight" defaults to fight, and watching what's going on lately and being too poor, too far, too broken to do a damned thing means the only outlet I have left is to write and write and write until someone finally READS what I'm writing.
This would be why I've more or less dissolved into seemingly incoherent screaming, because it's about all I can do. Esp. on FB, where I have a number of people who are apparently either FOR so much of the political asshattery, don't get why it's bad, or understand why it's bad, but take the attitude of "Well, we'll just vote differently in 2012" without seeing that if things like Michigan and Wisconsin are allowed to happen, 2012 will be too late, that I can't NOT keep my "mouth" shut. I see, more and more, a systematic reversion to a time when it was bad to be a minority, poor, a child, a woman, and I see a government that one side stands by and does little to nothing while the other side drags us back and pits us against ourselves so that we do not see what they are doing. I hate conspiracy theories with every fiber of my being, but dammit when they are doing things that only keep proving them right, I don't even know how to process that.
Words are all I have. I have no money. I have no power. I have no connections in that arena. Hell, I don't even have a phone or car anymore (we decided the wisest course would be to take my car off the road and have at least one functioning, road legal vehicle, so we're dealing with the one that needs less work to fix). I only have my words, here, on my lap-top. This IS my only way to fight against what I see happening to this country.
This is the only tool I have to scream and fight against the darkness, and dammit, I'm not shutting up.
