Satan's Bread Machine, Free To A Good Home

[spiralngphoenix]

So, I have this bread machine. My ex-husband's father and step-mother gave it to me for Christmas one year. It is a perfectly lovely bread machine, and I adore fresh baked bread, so I was actually rather pleased by this (normally domestic gifts from these two were slightly loaded, as his dad and I got along as long as we only saw each other at the usual holidays. He is convinced most of the evils of the world are a direct result of the feminist movement. Gods only know where Pete came from.)

Anyway, I digress... I tried many times to make this thing make a loaf of bread, but the only thing I ever got for my efforts were little bricks that even the wildlife ignored. (Yes, I managed to mangle bread in a bread machine. I was not always the gourmet baker I have become. ;) Or I just shouldn't be allowed near machinery, which is probably more likely the case.) However, I just couldn't ever bring myself to throw it out, convinced that someday I would find the magical combination of flour, water, and yeast to make this thing cough up a half decent loaf of bread. And so, when things went south, and we divorced, I faithfully packed the bread maker into a box along with other appliances and sent it off to live in storage.

Now, it is in the kitchen downstairs. I figured I'd give it one last shot before I deemed it irrevocably beyond use and pitched it. So (since I don't have the booklet that came with it), I purchased myself a box of prepackaged bread mix at the grocery store and began the final experiment.

Apparently it decided that 6 years in storage was punishment for failing to do it's designated job in life and actually made a respectable loaf of bread.

Of course, now I can't get the bloody thing out of the stupid bread tray to see if it actually tastes decent, but at least it's not a brick.

The upshot being, anyone want a bread machine? (I've also cross-posted to offer at Facebook, and it will go to the first person to claim it. If no one has claimed it by the end of the week, I'm sending it Somewhere Else.)

Comments

[fatfred.livejournal.com]

When I used mine I found it made a difference if I added wet stuff first or last.
Had a great recipe for an oatmeal honey bread.
The mixes never worked.

[spiralngphoenix.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure I've tried about every variation known to Man to use it, but I appear to be sadly useless with a machine. (This loaf, after the mangling I did to it extracting it..a bit of it had gotten under the paddle and was holding the whole thing in...came out pretty decently.) I'm convinced that the Baking Gods have decreed I am only allowed to do things the old-fashioned way.

[sistahraven.livejournal.com]

My MIL's machine had it written in the instruction manual exactly how to modify a recipe in order to use it in the machine. Here's hoping you can find that manual (even online) - it might save you a headache.

[spiralngphoenix.livejournal.com]

Meh, not worth it, to me. If someone takes it and wants to dredge it up, gods bless. I'm just going to throw it out on Monday, otherwise.