spiralngphoenix: (healing hands)
spiralngphoenix ([personal profile] spiralngphoenix) wrote2011-01-03 11:27 am
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A Letter To Parents

Dear Parents,

I'm writing to you today on behalf of your children about something that I don't think a lot of people think about. WHY it is important to "worry" your children and make sure they know their family's medical history. All of it. Early.

As some of you know and others don't, I went to the ER last week with a Surprise!kidney stone. When I got there, the doctors asked me if I had any family history of them, and I realized that I had no idea. I mean, I think my mother used to get them, but I'm not 100% on that and she's been gone for almost 21 years now. This is important, as if she did, and this had been made clear to me I could have, oh, done something to lower my own risk. After being released a few hours later, heavily medicated, I realized that aside from the odd bits here and there I have no idea about my genetic inheritance.

This is not a good thing. As I have to go to see a urologist this week and then set up an appointment with a nutritionist to set me on a new diet plan to try and minimize more of the spiky little buggers, I needed to know more about what I've got lurking in the DNA closet so that can be taken into account for the New Life Plan. So, I emailed my father.

Turns out, in addition to the scattered bits I do know about, there is also a MASSIVE history of vascular issues in his family (multiple heart attacks, atherosclerosis, stroke, cerebral hemorrhages, angina, one pacemaker, and a bypass so far). Funny thing about a lot of these things? If you know that there is a higher risk factor in your family, you can start making the appropriate lifestyle choices EARLY in life. Instead, I'm finding out at 34, when much of the damage has potentially been done, and now I'm going to be scrambling to play Catch-Up and hope that I'm able to do something about it in time.

I know a lot of people don't like to talk about it. I've heard a number of excuses from various fronts for why they don't tell their kids. The most common one I've heard was "I didn't want to worry you."

Please. For their sake's, worry them. Don't let them find out when they have an avoidable condition because you "didn't want to worry them", or for any other excuse. You can save them more pain and suffering by letting them know what they are at risk for than by keeping silent. If they choose not to make the changes, that's their choice. Give them the choice, though, and tell them before it's too late.

*steps off soap-box*

[identity profile] xinie.livejournal.com 2011-01-05 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
I've been waffling on this re: mental health issues. I feel like if I plant the concept of suicide in his head, it'll up his risk. Then again, I had the concept before I knew the word...

[identity profile] spiralngphoenix.livejournal.com 2011-01-05 03:34 am (UTC)(link)
I think it depends on the age and whatnot, but at the same time my Mom also made sure that I knew that mental illness ran in her family from a reasonably early age. (She passed when I was 13, and I knew before than that my grandmother had had a nervous breakdown, two of her cousins were permanently institutionalized, and there was a history of anxiety and depression.) Knowing it's there makes it easier for me to handle my own problems with anxiety and depression, as I can point to "Hey, this isn't just me, this is chemistry" and take the steps that I need to take to handle it. It's not "omg what's wrong with me? Everyone else is fine, why am I so screwed up" it's "Great, the Fox-Krol DNA's kicking up again, let's go find a way to ride this out until the brain chemicals chill out again." Or I can as soon as I can calm myself down long enough, again. I also made sure that I learned specific coping mechanisms to deal with it, knowing I had the potential for further issues. (My grand-father's solution to depression was the bottle. I decided to learn better skills than that.)

As with anything, this is just me, other people's mileage may vary. ;)

[identity profile] magpie49.livejournal.com 2011-01-07 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm here from UrsulaV's place after drooling over your Crow With Shiny icon.

I second your proposal.

I have told my children about their health heritage since they were old enough to understand, and to be interested in hearing it. I didn't "worry" them about it, I just gave them a piece at a time in a very matter of fact manner.

They are in their 30s now, and some bits of the knowledge have been helpful to them. I certainly hope other bits of it are never needed, but they're available if they ever are.