spiralngphoenix: (Grim Squeaker)
Would it be bad form to print this out, take a red pen to all the errors, scan back into a Word doc., and email it back to them? Not to apply, but just for the sake of "Oh for the love of all that's holy, PLEASE PROOF-READ ALREADY!"

Part Tine Office Assistant (Tewksbury)

Part Tine Office Assistant

Part time office assistant needed must be quick learner and have good computer skills, knowledge of Microsoft family of software, QuickBooks and general office work is helpful. Must work well with other and be a clear communicator understand and complete tasks with minimal supervision. The work consists of typing, filing, telephoning faxing and other general office tasks. Please email your resume with education, work experience and pay requirements.


*sigh*
spiralngphoenix: (Idiot)
O. M. G.

If you are going to have this:

"canaditate should have open saecheduale for some hours between 9- 6
ALL WEEKENDS IN MAY IS A MUST."

You are NOT allowed to have this:

"please email us with some information about avilable hours, work history and education."



I hate this economy. Can I be successfully self-employed now, please??!
spiralngphoenix: (Grim Squeaker)
It's been a while since I did one of these, but this was just too good to pass up!

* These folks have reached a new and interesting level of "We want you to run EVERYTHING for us" in their ad. The highlights, as it's a 3 screen ad: Part-time Office Manager/Bookkeeper to be in charge of not only the entire office, from home, but also all aspects of AP/AR/Purchasing/Payroll, all aspects of HR (including the interview process), IT, etc., all for the low price of $12-15/hr w/no benefits. Oh, and even though it's a remote position, you still need to be local only.

* For a part-time delivery driver: "You must have six years of driving in Massachusetts...". So if you just moved from out of state, go screw? Only long-term Massachusetts drivers need apply? Guys, I know you don't get it, but you really don't drive that differently from anywhere else. Well, maybe Rhode Island...

* PT job-great office job for retiree or supplemental income. Good thing you only want someone who either doesn't need to work, or just wants something to do, 'cause that schedule? Oi!

* Sell our stuff on eBay! (Also, you wanna pimp our stuff on FB and Twitter while you're at it? We just want the money. We don't want to any of the actual work...

* Typos right in the tag-line, starting nearly every sentence with the word "Candidate", incorrect use of punctuation... (I seriously need to start marketing myself as a bloody proof-reader for online ads. The horrendous execution of the English language makes me die a little more inside every day.)


And folks still seriously think the reason people are out of work is because they're just lazy...
spiralngphoenix: (dryad)
So yeah, got the email today that I didn't get the job at Wellesley. Not particularly surprised, really, as I'm perhaps a bit under-educated for working in a college. I'm actually pleased just to have made it that far!

In my "Thank you for letting me know" reply, I did have to ask about returning to campus to photograph the stonework, though... (Hey, what can it hurt to ask?)
spiralngphoenix: (Yikes!)
I have decided that phone interviews are WAY more terrifying than face-to-face ones. *shudder* *attempts to lower heart rate and blood pressure to a more normal level* *contemplates a shot of whiskey in the coffee to help*

Just got off the phone with some folks at Wellesley for a temp assignment through June (if I get this, I will be missing the June Endgame event and instead working 24 hours in 3 days...NPC'ing elsewhere to make up for CP loss will be in a necessity). I'll find out sometime within the next week or so if I made it to Round 2: Face to Face. Even more on the neuroses scale is that I pace when I talk on the phone. When I'm really tense, I wander all over the place. Due to the lack of phone, I had to use Google Voice, and so was stuck to my computer via headset. Arg.

Now I need more coffee. My poor system's had a nasty shock for so early in the day.
spiralngphoenix: (Wet cat)
Why are the jobs that fit all the requirements I'm looking for always outside a reasonable commuting distance?

*sigh*
spiralngphoenix: (rivers way)
I’ve been pondering a thought. It’s a thought that has flaws and holes and a huge number of other things wrong with it, but it’s still a thought. With my knee being crap at the moment (for whatever reason. No, I don’t know what’s wrong. Yes, I’m applying for state assisted health insurance. No, it’s non-negotiable of doing anything other than what I’m able to do in the meantime, unless someone else is paying for the gods only know what the hell cost it’s going to involve to get it looked at without insurance) I am unable to do any kind of table massage and probably shouldn’t even be trying to do chair massage until I can get a diagnoses of sorts. I can, however, do seated work.

What can I do seated? I can do hands/arms and foot/ankle best, and also head/face/neck. The last one, I do need to use the table for, but the first two I can do with a couple of chairs.

My first question is would there be any interest in this sort of thing? The second, what would people be willing to pay and for how long? I can do any of them for about as long as people want, but I’m not sure what the average time frame folks might be interested in would be (I know for myself, I could happily let someone massage my hands for HOURS). The main sticking point after that is where? I no longer have an office space, Pepperell is a bit of a haul for the Known World (not to mention the whole “not wanting to have folks traipsing all over my housemate’s house" idea), and this sort of strikes me as the sort of thing to do en masse instead of by appointment. Like, “Hey, we’re having a pot luck and Melissa’s setting up to do some massage work” or “Booth at the craft fair” sort of thing. I could be wrong, I have been before.

Input/suggestions to Make It Go needed. Please keep in mind that I’m looking for practical things I can do NOW, not later on down the road when I have money/location/healed knee. The above idea, or something similar, is more or less what I am Trying To Make Go.
spiralngphoenix: (flump)
Dear Prospective Employers,

I would like to call your attention to a few things, with regard to some of the habits you have when writing your ads that are rather, well, poor, and what they say to prospective employees.

1.) You do not list where you are located. How am I supposed to know if you are close enough to me to consider applying? You may be a fantastic fit, but if you're out on Cape Cod, and I'm in Pepperell, this is just not going to work. It is then a waste of my time to draft a cover letter and send my resume, and a waste of yours to have to read this and perhaps contact me.

2.) You give me no information regarding your company. If I do not know who you are or what you do, I cannot make an informed decision if our interests are in agreement. If you are, say, a biotech company, you do not want some New Age hippie working for you (not that I am, mind you, but the example stands). Likewise, you also effectively knee-cap me in any effort I may make to read up on your company beforehand. This does not bode well for your ability as an employer to give me the necessary information I need to do my job. Actually, it rather tells me that I'm going to waste a lot of time hunting down information that I should be given right up front, and probably getting spoken to on a regular basis for taking too long to do my work, despite your failure to provide me the necessary tools and information I require.

3.) You don't even make the effort to run a spell-check when you place your ad/Your punctuation is atrocious/you use capitals in middle of sentences/you otherwise horrible mangle the English language. Maybe you think this demonstrates how much you need the skills of a competent office manager and appeals to some maternal "Oh, they need me!" instinct? Honestly, what it says is that I'm going to spend a lot of time correcting your mistakes because you can't be bothered to take two seconds to look over your work. You are going to expect me to do everything for you, and probably bitch at me because something's taking too long, when I'm running around cleaning up after your lazy, self-important ass. You don't give a crap about me, your professional appearance, or the integrity of your business, and are probably going to spend a lot of time making my life miserable and not even going to bother to pay me enough to put up with it.

The list goes on, but these are the key points I see regularly. Please, people. I know it's an "Employers Market", but at least make an effort to pretend that you have some semblance of sense?

Sincerely yours,

~SP
spiralngphoenix: (Mrr?)
"I need a household manager, housekeeper, secretary, receptionist, errand person, food prep, MAC database keeper, etc. person part time--to possibly full time. Starting training pay is 11/hr, then raises to 12...You will be asked for your resume, refs and a photo. Pleasant, feminine phone voice..."

Dude, just come out and say you want a housewife. Seriously.
spiralngphoenix: (rivers way)
If anyone wonders why I do not want to work in a spa setting (especially one of the chain ones), this would be it. This is from today's listing on Craigslist for elements. The language, poor grammar, and horrible abuse of capital letters in the opening of the ad is enough to put me off the idea, and frankly says a lot about how they view the industry and therapists in general:

"Looking To Hire Great, Hard Working Therapists For Our Woburn Studio. Over 800 Members & 1,500 Massages Monthly Between Our Two Studios. Looking for Enthusiastic, Hard Working, Self Motivated, Team Players Who Are Not Looking to Sit Around & Who Are Interested in Making Lots Of Money While Increasing Their Massage Skills!!"

On a different line, my website has a blog on it. I've been tossing around the idea of making use of this, but am not sure what to write about. One idea I've been toying with is an article addressing the most common misconceptions about massage therapy (such as the idea that Swedish massage is only for relaxation, or the idea that the more it hurts, the more effective it's being in getting out the knots, etc.) The problem here? I went through massage school and have no misconceptions about it. I've known too many MT's over the years, and so never really did. So, dear readers, I have a request from you. What do you think massage therapy is? What can it or can't it do? What questions do you have about it?

Also, let me know if you would prefer that I screen responses, or feel free to send them to me at riverswaymassage@gmail.com. :D

Edit: Screened unless otherwise specified...
spiralngphoenix: (Grim Squeaker)
*In general, cashier duties do not include "switchboard, electronic filing/scanning and stocking vehicles."...

*When you include, in the body of your ad the words "Compensation: $8.75/hr ", at the end of the ad, you should not then include "Compensation: $9.50 HOUR" This is doubly important when you are an airline.

*If you are going to require someone to supply their own technology (in this case, a GPS unit for a chauffeur position), you don't get to demand specific brands.

*"Shiny Happy People" is not a good title for your ad.
spiralngphoenix: (Default)
An interesting statistic from the JobsinMa.com website (since they list how many listings of what they have): 377 Job Openings 163 Companies 3260 Resumes

Wish the folks who believe that the unemployed actually like being on Unemployment would grasp the significance of what those numbers mean...

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