Heh

Dec. 17th, 2010 05:38 pm
spiralngphoenix: (meme sheep)
Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last Saturday I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). Last Monday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, [livejournal.com profile] algrs (-5000 points). Last week I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points). In September I put money in [livejournal.com profile] rustydknight's expired parking meter (14 points). In July I bought porn for [livejournal.com profile] syllymidget (-10 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-6007 points). For Christmas I deserve a moldy sandwich!

Sincerely,
spiralngphoenix

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spiralngphoenix: (rivers way)
If anyone wonders why I do not want to work in a spa setting (especially one of the chain ones), this would be it. This is from today's listing on Craigslist for elements. The language, poor grammar, and horrible abuse of capital letters in the opening of the ad is enough to put me off the idea, and frankly says a lot about how they view the industry and therapists in general:

"Looking To Hire Great, Hard Working Therapists For Our Woburn Studio. Over 800 Members & 1,500 Massages Monthly Between Our Two Studios. Looking for Enthusiastic, Hard Working, Self Motivated, Team Players Who Are Not Looking to Sit Around & Who Are Interested in Making Lots Of Money While Increasing Their Massage Skills!!"

On a different line, my website has a blog on it. I've been tossing around the idea of making use of this, but am not sure what to write about. One idea I've been toying with is an article addressing the most common misconceptions about massage therapy (such as the idea that Swedish massage is only for relaxation, or the idea that the more it hurts, the more effective it's being in getting out the knots, etc.) The problem here? I went through massage school and have no misconceptions about it. I've known too many MT's over the years, and so never really did. So, dear readers, I have a request from you. What do you think massage therapy is? What can it or can't it do? What questions do you have about it?

Also, let me know if you would prefer that I screen responses, or feel free to send them to me at riverswaymassage@gmail.com. :D

Edit: Screened unless otherwise specified...
spiralngphoenix: (Kitten of Doom)
To Whomever Reads This:

First, I wish to say from the bottom of our hearts, we are so very sorry. What little words remain to me cannot begin to express how truly and deeply sorry we are for unleashing the horror upon the world. Such was never our intent, but as they say, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I can only hope that a cure is found that can stop the evil we so unwittingly created.

I know, by now, the story has grown wildly past the truth. Many call us monsters, devils, and worse, and say that we created the Plague out of malice and ill-will. Such is not true, and with my last words I wish to set the record straight, for whatever cold comfort it may bring.

It was such an innocent thing. We only wished a little fun and an afternoon's amusement, that fateful Labor Day weekend...We brought our equipment and supplies to the lab, carefully deciding which formulas to mix, and began heating and blending the initial compounds. The original trial was without a hitch, and so we felt emboldened to try another, slightly more complex combination. This time, however, things did not go so smoothly.

The first sign things were not quite right came the moment I pulled the compound from the heat. It had not warmed through evenly and required more mixing than previous batches. Shrugging my shoulders, I sent it back through. This time, it was so hot I could barely handle it, but required the use of padding to keep my hands from being burned. Then, there were some difficulties in extruding the materials from the container. It blew up, quite literally, in my face, spraying me with it's eerie green liquid across the face and in my hair. I even found a tiny droplet on the edge of my ear. Undaunted, I washed it off, and my partner gave it a try. Moments later, he too, was sprayed with the foul stuff. We should have given up then, but we were too caught up in the joys of exploring Science. We tried again, and managed to force a little more of the substance from the container, before deciding that something just wasn't right. Upon inspection (thinking perhaps it was hardening prematurely), we discovered that the center was entirely an extremely thick paste, nearly a solid. Given the molten nature of the outer sides, this should not have been possible. After some deliberation, we scraped it into a receptacle in order to determine the best way to dispose of it, and discovered to our horror that somehow, in the heating process it had mutated into something unknown. We waited for nearly half an hour, and it still remained in it's semi-liquid state, entirely unchanged, despite now being quite cool.

Once again, we should have left well enough alone, but we had come to far to turn back, and were unwilling to admit that our experiment had failed. We were determined to see it through to the bitter end, and scraped the noxious substance into the molds, as had been the original plan. The next day we brought it out to show to some friends, as yet unaware of what we had created, thereby sealing the fate of Humanity and releasing the horror of the Great Zombie Plague upon the world.

There are no excuses for what we did, and I know it is likely we are damned for all time. I can only hope that you can find it in your hearts to forgive us, for we knew not what we did.

With deepest regrets,

Spiralngphoenix and Rellik_canard.




(Video taken at room temperature, having cooled for at least half an hour. This ) was what started it all.)

{Endgame}

Aug. 21st, 2009 11:45 am
spiralngphoenix: (Morgan2)
I would like to state that if Ian and Skye are going to be allowed to ever do the Time Warp again, they can only do it like this:

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